Byron Katie says that “all sadness is a tantrum”
Maybe it is.
But when I’m feeling profound sadness, it doesn’t feel like a tantrum, it feels like a silent, paralysing weight that is drowning me slowly.
This isn’t depression (I have suffered with devastating PND); as I float quickly back to the surface once it starts to clear and I can breathe again; it’s just… Overwhelming Sadness, the “black dog” that comes to pay a visit and hangs around for a short few days.
I feel blessed: this only lands on me once or twice a year, and I’m strangled for three or four days, then back to myself. The bit that always gets me is that, I don’t feel it’s insidious grip until I’ve hit rock bottom; until I’m being a horrible, horrible person; until I start imagining divorce, running away; when I make myself sad with my thoughts and I feel I can’t dig my way out.
Maybe it is a tantrum.
Maybe I need to mentally stamp my feet and howl incoherently. Maybe I need that energetic shake up. Maybe I’m overwhelmed because I don’t take care of myself enough, even though, when I’m “normal” I couldn’t be happier, and feel supported and loved.I know I’m not alone in feeling like this: does it ever hit you? Do you practice “self care”? Please tell me, and inspire me with how you take care of yourself (for I know it is “an inside job”)
Today’s post is part of the Moods of Motherhood blogging carnival celebrating the launch of the second edition of Moods of Motherhood: the inner journey of mothering by Amazon bestselling author, Lucy H. Pearce (published by Womancraft Publishing).
Today over 40 mothers around the world reflect on the internal journey of motherhood: raw, honest and uncut. To see a list of the other contributors and to win your own copy visit Dreaming Aloud.net