Two weeks ago, I woke early. Lay in bed. Felt a pop and a gush of water (thank goodness I had been using the waterproof under-sheets!!) I lay there in shock for a few minutes: our little baby had decided to make an entrance two weeks early. Two weeks in which I had planned on finishing packing my bags (I know, I know), airing babygros and vests, finding a good book to read when I was in hospital. After being mithered with strong false pains for weeks, I didn’t have as much as a twinge. All my fanciful imaginings that this baby would swoop into our world at speed before a Caesarian section could be performed (I have had three previous C.S.) were dashed: this was my third baby to turn from head down to an unstable lie as soon as the membranes ruptured. So I had a bit of a cry at what lay ahead, took some Aconite for shock and concentrated on my GentleBirth affirmation: “I am prepared for whatever path my birthing takes” (I did the GentleBirth self hypnosis programme whilst pregnant, and cannot praise it highly enough. I give all the credit for the fact I was feeling completely calm and didn’t cry the entire time I was in theatre) (the lack of tears was a great relief for everyone I’m sure. It’s a bit unnerving to have a wife or patient who can’t control her hysteria while on a narrow operating table)
We headed to the hospital and that afternoon, Anna arrived into our world: tiny, unbelievably soft and perfect. It was all very calm, very gentle and very happy.
Unfortunately, I had some complications (nicked bladder) which for normal people would have been a bit of a setback; for me, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Ten days ago I wouldn’t have rated my chances of sitting here typing this too highly; so with every fibre of my being, I feel utter and complete relief and gratitude for my care while in hospital (I attended Portiuncula Hospital in Ballinasloe, Co. Galway. The midwives were outstanding in their kindness and care, as were the care staff and doctors); for my family who leaped into action and rallied around, minding me and our children; for friends who prayed and prayed and prayed some more and supported us, and for Homeopathy: I am really so blessed.
I am only home a few days and well on the road to recovery. I have another bit to go, but I’m okay. I’m writing this with a very small, miniature human tucked under my chin (where she likes to nuzzle to), kissing her with every tiny sigh and moan (every ten seconds or so) so it’s hard to feel anything but utter joy.
I’m happy to forget the nightmare that was: I’m here, I’m home, my husband makes me tea and scones in the morning and tells me he loves me and I’m beautiful even though I feel battered and gunky and I’ve tubes coming out of me and weird complaints; my older children spend their time lavishing our Little One with love and kisses; I’m alive, -I’m alive!- and getting well, and feeling positive and grateful and so very, very blessed.
This time two weeks ago feels like an instant, and in another way, an eternity. So many times every day, we hold our teeny baby and marvel at how incredible and perfect she is, and how, hard to believe, she hasn’t always been with us. Oh, the smell! The softness! The utter deliciousness of a newborn! Welcome home Baby Anna xx
Lovely post Em 🙂 I’m so delighted you are home and on the road to recovery 🙂 Can’t wait to give ye’ all a squeeze really soon xxxx Beautiful photos xxx
That was beautifully written. I hate that you had so many post partum issues. But she is a blessing as is being alive! So glad you were so well taken care of in hospital.
Oh you poor love. I’m so glad your home and on the mend. Your little Anna is perfect.
Congratulations. Dee xxx
Welcome home sweet baby Anna indeed. You’ve been through so much and remain so strong – such admiration. She will grow into a strong woman too with you as an example. Take care of yourself Emily, much love and respect! X
Sounds like a terrible ordeal but glad to hear you are on the mend and have your gorgeous new chick back in the nest with you. Sending you continued good wishes for a full recovery. You have a beautiful baby xxxx
Congrats!She is so gorgeous and well done you super mama for all you went through and are still going through!xx
Congratulations and so glad you are OK, so great that the GentleBirth helped, enjoy your cuddles and hope the healing goes well for you – She is gorgeous btw x
So sorry to hear you had such a rough time. Baby is beautiful. Congrats and so glad you are mending.N x
Congratulations, baby Anna is so beautiful. I am glad you are on the mend, your positivity is wonderful to bring you through such a difficult time. Wishing you joy and a speedy recovery.
Emily what a beautiful post. Despite the urgency and fright of Anna’s birth, you have still managed an utterly BROODY MAKING post. Your baby chick is surrounded by the love of her beautiful family. What a fright you all must have gotten.
I feel a bit faint at the mention of tubes…..and I’m not the one who’s just had a baby! Congratulations and here’s to a quick full recovery.
Emily. I read this around 3am this morning and gave my little squish D an extra huggle just for the loveliness of it all! We so often take for granted the amazing job our baby-making bodies do in delivering these little wonders into the world but an ordeal like your own is a timely reminder of the kindness we should show to ourselves after a job well-done.
Truly you are a goddess!!! xx
Kisses to your little one Emily. A lovely magical time those first few weeks when all the family meet and greet the new arrival.
Aw you made me smile remembering my own last little bundle. Off now to look at old photos.
Hope you are making a good recovery. xxxx
Beautiful evocative post as ever Emily, sorry that you had such an ordeal, I hope you are on the mend. Welcome Baby Anna, you are utterly gorgeous and you choose so well when you picked your fabulous Mama. Enjoy every second xx
Many congratulations on the birth of your beautiful little Anna! I hope you are well on the road to recovery now and that your family are rallying around you, the hero Mama. The pictures above are so gorgeous. Much love to you xx
Oh my, hugs to you! Anna is so very, very beautiful, and thank goodness you are on the mend. So much to be grateful for . 🙂
Oh, the tears! You are such a unique spirit, Emily. You see the beauty in everything. Anna is just…indescribable, really. So much love. I hope the next few weeks are kind to you and the healing happens at a good pace x
oh Emily I didn’t realise you went through so much – I’m so happy to hear that you’re safe and well at home and writing such beautiful words about your beautiful daughter. Keep the photos coming – she is just delicious!
Why did I never comment on this? I just read it and teared up AGAIN – the photo at the end is such perfection. (But then, so are the others…)
Why thank you 🙂 almost a year… :-0
I was just thinking the same thing Christine! I was scrolling down looking for my comment. Can’t believe it’s been nearly a year Emily. What a rollercoaster for you. You are a superwoman of strength and love and beauty xxx
Thank you so much xxx
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